Jesus first

"But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you." Matthew 6:33

It's been crazy how this verse has been popping up everywhere last week. From the Sacred Search book that Leong recommended me to read, to IDMC to IDT memory verse this week. It set me thinking the whole week about it though. What does it mean to seek God's kingdom first? More serving? more QTs? I pondered hard over that and told God to reveal what it means to seek His kingdom first. You know the 4 words that Ps Barney told us to write down what God wants us to do after IDMC? Well, mine was, "Sarah, surrender and obey" HAHAHA

Trol. I am pretty stubborn sometimes. Always needing God to double confirm and confirm again before I proceed to do something. At times, it is good, other times, it just makes me go in circles. I guess that's also how I learn.

So yup, life is really super uncertain now. Was telling Wen how time flies when school starts, and wow to think it's already the 5th week into my final sem. "Isn't it good?" she asked. Yeah it is good, I mean took all the crazy mods of analytics and research this sem, and it's a torture. But as much as I want them to be done, what scares me is that there are no more semesters left for me to get through anymore. I have no idea what's gonna be in store for me next year, and for now, at least there's school to look forward to. Would be nice to know though. But as usual, that's how God stretches our faith too, to not always have to know what's coming next, but to believe that He has it all in the palm of His hand. Spiritual muscles being trained they say.

Still figuring what it means for me to seek God's kingdom first through. I guess... it's really all the disappointments from certain people... certain guys, broken dreams etc, if my hope is not in Jesus, then most of the things will always end up disappointing. In this period of waiting, perhaps it was really for me to figure out what it truly means to seek God's kingdom first.

Ending today's post with a verse that I got while praying for this year on 31 Dec 2016:

"And blessed is she who believed that there would be a fulfillment of what was spoken to her from the Lord." Luke 1:45

Grappling with the depth of this verse, reminded of the rainbow I saw in Timor. There are days when it gets tough to keep holding on. Maybe one day it will all make sense.